10 Lessons Learned from a Sleep-Deprived Mother of Two

Parenting is an exhausting, yet rewarding, journey. One that is filled with trial and error. Some things are learned the hard way. Some things are just intuitive. I think the best thing we can all do for each other is to share our knowledge and of course have a healthy amount of ~~judgement~~ self-reflection. Here are 10 things I’ve learned over the past two and a half years with my little ~~monsters~~ cherubs!

Wine paired with anything can and should be considered dinner.
Trust your gut. If it looks like poop, and smells like poop, it’s probably poop.
When your two-year old asks for a litter box for Christmas, it means you are failing miserably at potty training. Change your strategy. Change it quick. PS-we don’t have a cat, and she doesn’t want a cat, just a litter box. A pink one.
Don’t buy toys with a million pieces unless you enjoy 52 pick-up with said pieces, every single day, multiple times a day.
Privacy while going to the bathroom is a privilege. Enjoy it when and where you can, because the next time you have to “go,” you may hear that sweet two-year old voice behind you saying “I come too?” … Sure, why not. I love being stared at with anticipation while sitting on the toilet. Swell.
You know you are bribing your child too frequently when her first question to you at daycare pick-up is “you have fruit snack?” …. Yes, yes I do.
Prepare yourself to read the same book over and over again. This week we’re reading “Drippy and Sticky’s Day at The Fire Station.” Every time I get to the last page, I am overwhelmed with a feeling of immeasurable glee. That is of course until I close the book and hear the word that every parent dreads, “ Again!” Then, I am overcome with the feeling that I want Drippy and Sticky to die.
The grocery store at 4:55PM is like the hunger games for adults. It is overcrowded with parents who are trying to grab a few necessities like alcohol and butt cream without being late for daycare pick-up. It’s ugly. It’s really ugly. Avoid it at all cost.
Stop feeling bad about lying to your kids. It is the only way to survive. I can’t even count the amount of times in a day that I say, “Yes, we will do that soon.” Or, “Maybe we can do that later,” and of course, “let’s talk about it after nap.”
Finally, a motto to live by: “You whine, I wine.” No exceptions.